


so long as men can breathe or eyes can see (so long lives this)

by AlmondRose



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Non-Linear Narrative, Soulmates, bones is a lil shit but i love him :(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:14:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23114524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlmondRose/pseuds/AlmondRose
Summary: Ambassador Sarek died. His wife and kids moved to Iowa. His youngest son and their new neighbor form a bond unlike anything Riverside has ever seen....
Relationships: James T. Kirk & Leonard "Bones" McCoy, James T. Kirk/Spock, implied T'Pring/Nyota Uhura, implied gaila/leonard "bones" mccoy
Comments: 44
Kudos: 254





	so long as men can breathe or eyes can see (so long lives this)

**Author's Note:**

> -title from shakespeare's famous sonnet 18, since in this fic they talk about shakespeare's gay sonnets at one point  
> -um i never explained why spock's family was in iowa at all and u know what. it doesn't matter why  
> -i feel like IRL jim n spock are like 3 years or more apart but for the sake of this fic spock is approx a year older than jim  
> -oh god so there's some vulcan language stuff in here, i used some translatey site for the sentances and stuff and like who KNOWS how accurate that is but whatever, i'll throw the translations in the endnotes but you should be able to figure it out based on context  
> -like i said in the tags this is a non-linear narrative. i put the actual chronological order of events in the endnotes if you want it after you read it

Despite developing the test, Spock does not often supervise the Kobayashi Maru. He is far too busy, and far too sure of his own work to watch every time some new cadet takes the test. So Spock is in his office, grading his xenolinguistics class’s latest essays, when one of the test aids--Spock recognizes them as being called Anderson--bursts into his office without knocking. 

Spock raises an eyebrow. 

“Sir,” Anderson gasps, their face red with exertion. Have they run here? “Sir, someone--someone _won_ the test.”

Spock knows instantly what test Anderson is speaking of, and he stands, leaving the stack of essays behind to follow Anderson to the simulator room. It is across campus, and Anderson half-runs. Spock keeps pace, and cadets scramble out of the way to let them pass. 

Anderson lets Spock into the control room. He glances at the simulation to see that the cadets inside have already cleared out, presumably to celebrate with whomever beat the test. Inside the control room, the proctors are in a state of agitation. 

“What happened,” Spock demands. It’s not really a question. 

“This was his third time taking the test, and he--” Redbrook starts to say, but Spock tunes out her explanation, instead going to the viewscreen that controls the simulation. Spock knows his test is unwinnable. He knows it. 

He pulls up the programming and scans it. The change in the programming is right where he’d suspected it would be. Spock inspects it, and he has never been so inclined as to call a line of code beautiful before, but he recognizes the work and very nearly thinks it. He closes his eyes and exhales. 

This, he thinks, is cheating. Or, perhaps, it is a creative solution. Spock knows it does not explicitly say not to change the coding anywhere in the rules. Nobody has thought of it before, but technically, it is not cheating. 

He closes the programming and turns away, facing Redbrook and Anderson and Gillian, who still seem agitated. 

“Commander?” Anderson asks, their voice small and afraid. 

“I will put the cadet on probation for academic dishonesty,” Spock says, putting his hands behind his back. “Technically, the cadet did not cheat, but he did alter the code, which is morally dubious.”

“Ah, okay, sir,” Gillian says, seeming relieved. Spock nods at the trio of proctors and starts for the door. 

“Sir?” Redbrook says, and Spock turns to look back at her. 

“Yes, Lieutenant?” He considers raising an eyebrow but decides against it. 

“Don’t you need to know which cadet...altared the code?” she says.

“It was James T. Kirk, was it not?” Spock says, and the proctors exchange a look. 

“Yes, sir, it was,” Redbrook says, and Spock nods once, sharp, and takes his leave of them.

\-----

When Jimmy takes the car off that fucking cliff, he blames first Sam, and then Michael, for abandoning him. Sam, who was supposed to be his protector, left and is gone and Jimmy’s pretty sure he’ll never see him again. Michael, who is Jimmy’s babysitter-- _ex-_ babysitter--and his favorite person, moved to Vulcan which means Sybok will have to be Jimmy’s babysitter until he’s too old to need one. 

And Jimmy’s mom, he thinks ruthlessly as he floors it, pressing down _hard_ on the pedal that makes the car go, she abandoned him, too. And so did Frank, and Jim’s dad. Everyone abandoned him. 

So Jimmy blames everyone, and he goes so fast that _he’ll_ leave them behind this time, and then he thinks, for one shining minute, that maybe he’ll leave them behind _for real._

He jumps, though, and after that, he only blames himself.

\-----

Jim had sort of expected an academic hearing, but he gets a ping on his PADD notifying him of academic probation, instead. Jim opens the notification and reads it. It says he’ll be on probation for six months, and if he gets another infraction he’ll be expelled. The reason for this is because he’s suspected of academic dishonesty, but not outright cheating. The inspector requested they skip the hearing and go straight to the prohibition period. 

The name of the inspector is one Commander Spock, and Jim grins. 

“Hey, Bones, my consequences came in,” he says, holding his PADD out towards his friend’s bed. 

“Did they expel you?” Bones asks, reaching his hand out. Jim passes it over and Bones scans the notification. “I’ll be damned.”

“I _know,”_ Jim says, and then his PADD chirps with another notification. Jim leaves his seat on the floor to climb up next to Bones, leaning way into his space. “What was that?”

Bones opens the notification, and they read it together, Jim snorting with laughter and Bones sputtering. 

“I do not _goddamned_ believe you!” Bones cries, shoving the PADD at Jim hard enough to knock him right into Bones’s pillows. He’s still laughing, so hard it almost hurts, and the hard look in Bones’s eye is softening enough that it looks like he may find the whole thing funny as well. 

_Cadet Kirk--_

_Your use of creative thinking for the solution for Kobayashi Maru has been noted and appreciated by Starfleet Academy’s staff. You will be awarded a commendation for original thinking, as per recommendation of Captain Pike. Details below._

\-----

Jim is bored, so he knocks on the Graysons’ door. 

Sybok answers, his hair longer than Jim remembers and pulled back in a bun. His ears are pierced, which is either new or Jim hadn’t noticed, before. He’s also wearing pajamas, despite it being like one in the afternoon.

“Jim,” Sybok says, faintly surprised. 

“Sybok,” Jim says, mimicking his tone. “Is Spock around? I’m so fucking bored.”

“Sure, I think he’s upstairs doing some nerdy shit,” Sybok says, and he opens the door to let Jim in. “I’ll go get him.”

Jim waits just inside. He hasn’t been in the Grayson house in years, but it looks mostly the same, a mix of Vulcan artefacts and Terran decor, spotlessly clean. 

Sybok comes back down the stairs with Spock right behind him. Spock is wearing regular pants and a button up shirt. 

“Jim,” Spock says. 

“Spock,” Jim returns, feeling kind of like he and Sybok had _just done this_. “Want to hang out or something?”

“Okay,” Spock says. He takes his shoes from beside the door and puts them on. Jim rocks back and forth on his heels. When Spock stands up again, he turns to his brother. “When should I be home?”

“Whenever, I don’t care,” Sybok says. “You seriously need to get out more.”

“I am ‘getting out’ right now, and you are staying in,” Spock says, sounding a little triumphant. 

“That’s ‘cause I am about to invite all of _my_ friends over,” Sybok says. “So seriously, _please_ stay out late.”

“Yeah, well, we’ll see,” Jim says, and he leads Spock outside. 

He and Spock aren’t actually _friends,_ or anything, but they do know each other, and Jim kind of hates all the people in his class at school, and he had figured Spock wasn’t doing anything else. 

And oh look, he was right.

“What are your intentions for the remainder of the afternoon?” Spock asks. 

“God, I don’t know,” Jim says. “What do you like to do?”

“‘Like’ is a human emotion,” Spock says. 

“You live on Earth, you can be fucking human for one afternoon,” Jim says. “Let’s go get ice cream.”

“I am amenable,” Spock says. They head in the direction of the town proper. “You use a lot of vulgar language for one of your age.”

“I got into the habit last year,” Jim says, shoving his hands in his pockets, and maybe _this_ is the real reason he wanted to hang out with Spock--he knows where Jim was last year, and what happened there, and he doesn’t pity him for it. 

Or at least if he does, he doesn’t show it. Thank you, Surak, for that. 

“I see,” Spock says. “Sybok claimed you cited boredom as a reason for coming to find me. Most people find _me_ boring.”

“Nah, you’re alright,” Jim says. “You know lots of stuff.”

“I do,” Spock says. 

“I know lots of stuff, too,” Jim says. “Maybe we can combine all the stuff we know and make a book.”

“Illogical,” Spock says, but he hesitates before saying it, which Jim thinks means he thought about it. He grins at Spock. Spock’s face doesn’t change at all, but Jim imagines that somewhere inside him, he’s smiling back. 

\-----

Jim and Bones are crossing campus with their lunch when Jim hears Uhura’s voice. As usual, he tunes in, already deciding to bless her and her roommate with his presence. 

“I don’t know,” Gaila says as Jim approaches their table, using his free hand to tug Bones along. “I think he’s kind of a hardass.”

“Sure, but he’s _dreamy,”_ Uhura says. “Those Vulcan eyes have _depths,_ I’m telling you.” Jim quickly connects a few dots--there’s only one Vulcan on campus, he heard Uhura and Christine arguing about the merits of getting involved with a teacher the other day, and Spock _is_ dreamy. 

“Wait, the teacher you’re interested in is _Spock?”_ Jim asks, sitting down at Uhura and Gaila’s picnic table without asking. Bones rolls his eyes but follows suit, sitting across from Jim on Uhura’s other side. 

“I’m not _interested_ in him, _Kirk,_ ” Uhura sniffs. “Nor any teacher. I just think he’s...fascinating.”

“And hot,” Gaila says cheerfully. 

“Trust me,” Jim says. “If you’re going to fuck a teacher, don’t pick Spock.”

“And why not?” Uhura asks. “Say I _am_ interested, which, by the way, I’m not.”

“Well,” Jim says, ignoring the look Bones is giving him. “He’s Vulcan, and Vulcans get engaged as children, so he’s probably engaged already.”

“Why do you know that?” Uhura asks. “What do you know about Vulcans?”

“Hiyet,” Jim says, just because he can, and Uhura blinks at him in surprise. 

“Du stariben vuhlkansu?” she asks, and Jim nods. 

“Ha, _”_ he says, and then switches gears. “Besides, I’m pretty sure he’s gay.”

“What?” Uhura asks.

“Look at him,” Jim says, tilting his head towards the Vulcan in question, who’s standing across the lawn talking to another teacher. Bones and Gaila bodily turn around to look. “He’s standing like five feet away from her.”

“It’s called personal space,” Uhura says. “He’s very respectful.”

“Pretty sure he’s gay,” Jim says. “Trust me, that man knows nothing of women.”

“Maybe he’s just very repressed,” Gaila says thoughtfully. “Don’t Vulcans have to be?”

“Wouldn’t it be _illogical_ to be gay?” Bones asks. “Can they control it?”

“Um, no,” Jim says. 

“Humans can’t,” Bones says. “We know that. But Vulcans work differently, right? Maybe they can.”

“He’s half human, McCoy,” Uhura says, rolling her eyes. “And you’re a doctor, shouldn’t you know about alien sexualities?”

“Vulcans are notoriously private, _Uhura,_ you know that,” Bones says, and then he turns towards Gaila. “Now _Orion_ sexualities, on the other hand….”

Gaila giggles and leans closer to him, and Kirk and Uhura exchange an amused glance. 

\-----

By the end of the first summer after his return from Tarsus IV, Jim is letting himself into Spock’s house. Spock minded until his mother explained that that is what friends do, sometimes, and Spock notices that his mother never minds Jim just showing up and Sybok doesn’t seem to either, so he decides it’s okay. 

Often, Jim shows up and makes Spock go with him somewhere. Rarely is it Jim’s own house, but sometimes it is the woods behind his house, and that is where they are the day Jim asks Spock to teach him how to speak Vulcan. 

“It is a very complicated language,” Spock says. 

“I’ll learn,” Jim says. “Come on, dude, wouldn’t it be cool? You’d have a reason to speak it. We could speak it together.”

The idea of practicing his native language is appealing, Spock will admit. He has not had much cause to speak it since they moved to Terra. When his family first moved to Iowa, Spock and Sybok still spoke Vulcansu at home while Michael and their mother spoke Standard, but over time Spock and Sybok switched to speaking in Standard. 

“You will not give up on learning if it is too difficult?” Spock asks, because he knows that humans do that, sometimes, and something about Jim becoming fluent is most appealing. Jim gives him a strange look from where he is dangling from a tree branch. 

“Duh!” he says. “It’ll be like our own secret language!”

“Several billion people speak Vulcan,” Spock says. 

“But none of them are in Iowa,” Jim points out. “Besides your mom and Sybok.”

“Fine,” Spock says. “I will teach you.”

“Hooray!” Jim says, and he drops from the branch, landing solidly on his feet. “What’s first?”

Spock parts his fingers in a ta’al.

“Dif-tor heh smusma,” he says. Jim copies him. 

“Dif-tor heh ...samusa,” Jim says. 

“Smusma,” Spock corrects. 

“Smusma ,” Jim says. Spock nods, and Jim’s grin grows bigger. “Dif-tor heh smusma. _”_ Spock finds the sound of Jim’s poor accent illogically pleasing, and he clears his throat and continues. 

\------

Leonard comes back from the party early, because he doesn’t want to be hungover for his call to Jo tomorrow morning. Also he’s tired, and had a long week, and didn’t even know anyone at the party except Sulu, but Sulu was making out with his boyfriend in the corner the entire time, and so Leonard left. 

Jim usually goes to these things, but didn’t want to that night, so Leonard figures maybe they’ll watch a movie or something when he gets back. He goes up the single flight of stairs to their apartment and opens the door, realizing after he’s dropped his jacket in a heap next to the door that maybe Jim could be sleeping. 

“Bones, are you back?” Jim’s voice calls from the direction of the kitchen, so Leonard amends that thought. He kicks off his shoes and picks his jacket up, heading to find his friend. 

Jim is, indeed, in the kitchen, making what looks to be cookies, of all things, but that’s not what trips Leonard up. Getting cinnamon out of Jim and Leonard’s cupboard, like he does this every day, is _Professor Spock._

“Um,” Leonard says. 

“We’re making cookies,” Jim sings. “Snickerdoodles, because Spock can’t eat chocolate. Oh, right, Bones, this is Spock. Spock, Bones.”

“Leonard McCoy,” Spock says, inclining his head. He’s wearing civilian clothes, which Leonard has never seen on any Vulcan before, let alone a professor at the academy. 

“Um,” Leonard says again.

“Relax, Bones,” Jim says, coming around to pat his shoulder. “He doesn’t bite.”

“ _Jim,”_ Leonard hisses. “Why is there a _professor_ in our _apartment?”_

“We grew up together,” Jim says, shrugging. Spock hands Jim the cinnamon and stands next to him, their shoulders touching. 

“What?” Leonard asks. His brain feels sort of broken, in a weird way. 

“I was raised in Riverside, Iowa, alongside Jim,” Spock explains. “We have been friends for many years.”

“And now we’re making cookies,” Jim says. “Bones, you wanna join us?”

Leonard thinks of the party he left early and the call with Jo in the morning, and how nothing makes any goddamned sense, and then he shrugs. 

“Fine,” he says, and he tosses his jacket in the direction of the couch. “But I want to send some to Jo.”

\-----

“You are reckless,” Spock says, handing the ice pack to Jim. 

“I know,” Jim grumbles, and he holds it up to his eye. They’re at school, and Spock broke into the teacher’s lounge to look for a regenerator and ice. Jim thinks maybe he’s a bad influence on Spock, if he’s breaking into stuff. 

Jim hadn’t _meant_ to get into a fight, but he had. He’s pretty sure Spock doesn’t know why he and Johnson Brown were fighting, which is probably for the better, because Spock would get all frowny at Jim. 

The thing is, though, if Spock heard Johnson Brown say shitty stuff about _Jim,_ Jim’s pretty sure Spock would’ve beat him up too, so there’s no reason for Spock to get frowny because Johnson Brown said that Spock was a freak. 

Whatever. 

“Did you find a regenerator?” Jim asks. 

“No,” Spock says. “The school nurse must keep it in her office.”

“Aw, well,” Jim says. “You don’t need to break into another office on my behalf. It’s no big deal, anyway.” 

Spock already put bandaids on Jim’s cheek where he got cut, and his knees from when he fell on the ground. Jim’s knuckles are swollen from hitting Johnson Brown, but he’ll be fine. The black eye is the real problem, but Jim doesn’t know if he cares that much. 

“It is a big deal,” Spock says. “You got hurt.”

“I’m fine,” Jim says. “No worries.”

He hops down from the table and picks his backpack back up. They should bail before a teacher catches them and gets Spock in trouble. 

“Jim,” Spock says. 

“Let’s go,” Jim says. “Kaiidth _,_ right?”

Spock makes a very human-sounding huff, and picks up his own backpack, and they head for the door. 

\------

Bones and Jim have a bigger apartment, but Gaila and Uhura’s is closer to campus, so that’s where they usually hang out. 

Uhura didn’t used to like Jim all that much, but now the four of them hang out quite a lot, and Jim thinks he’s probably grown on her. 

“I can’t believe you got out of that with only _academic probation,”_ Uhura says. She’s curled on the chair next to the couch, where Bones and Gaila are sort of draped over each other. Jim’s on the floor. 

“What can I say? The faculty loves me,” Jim says, spreading his arms widely. 

“They must, to give you a commendation,” Bones grumbles. 

“A _what?”_ Uhura gasps, and Jim laughs. 

“Oh, Jimmy, how _do_ you do it?” Gaila asks. 

“A combination of charm and good looks,” Jim says smugly. “These baby blues are a _gift,_ I tell you.”

“You’re the worst,” Uhura says, and then a spike of alarm that doesn’t belong to him has Jim sitting up, holding his hand up for silence. He bites his lip and the alarm is quickly smothered, and then at once, all of their PADDs chirp. 

“There’s been a distress call on Vulcan,” Uhura reads, her eyes wide. “They need all the cadets to report to hangers for assignment.”

“Jesus,” Jim says, scrambling to his feet. Gaila and Uhura scramble for their shoes, and Jim puts his own boots and jacket back on with fast motions. 

“You okay, Jim?” Bones says quietly, and Jim nods, fast. 

“Come on,” he says. “We have to go.”

Jim’s mind shuts down and he moves to the hanger on autopilot, aware of his arm being crushed by Bones, who’s holding him tight so they don’t get separated in the crowds. Officers are calling names off of PADDs, and Jim hears Gaila get assigned to the _Farragut_ , hears Uhura’s name get called for the _Enterprise._

Jim scans the crowd and does not see the bowl cut or pointed ears. 

“Kirk, _Farragut!”_ he hears, and then, “McCoy, _Farragut!”_

“At least we’ll be together,” Bones says, tugging his arm. “I know you wanted the _Enterprise,_ but--”

Jim finally finds Spock in the crowds. He’s holding a PADD and standing across the hanger, already dressed in the blue uniform of a science officer. 

Their eyes meet, and Jim pushes several emotions towards him. Spock stares steadily back at him, and Jim is aware of Bones saying something. 

Spock looks down at his PADD, and then back up, tilting his head towards the _Enterprise_ shuttles. 

“Come on,” Jim says, and he pulls Bones away from the _Farragut’s_ shuttles. 

“What are you _doing?”_ Bones hisses. 

“We got reassigned,” Jim says. 

“Is this Vulcan voodoo?” Bones demands, and Jim pushes him into the line for the shuttle. 

“Spock wanted to avoid favoritism,” Jim says. “But in order to make up for assigning me to the _Farragut,_ he put you with me. But that’s BS, so we’re going on the _Enterprise.”_

“Great,” Bones says. “Glad to know that my worth as a Starfleet officer is solely determined by the fact that you like me.”

“Come on, Bones,” Jim says, rolling his eyes, and then they’re at the front of the line. 

“McCoy, Kirk, welcome aboard,” the officer letting people in says, and Jim drags Bones to find a seat near Uhura. 

She’s sitting with Spock, and Bones and Jim sit behind them, Jim purposefully brushing Spock’s arm as he walks past. 

Spock gives him a Look, one with a half-eyebrow raise, and Jim smiles to see it, and settles in for an adventure.

\------

It is early morning, and Spock and Jim are sitting outside of Jim’s house, shoulders pressed together and backs to the outside walls. The sun is rising, and Spock suspects Jim will need sleep soon. However, Spock’s mother claims both that they are nearing adulthood and can stay up and go on adventures, and that they are growing boys who need sleep. Spock has been living on Terra for nine point four years, and still, humans make no sense to him. 

Anyway, Jim and Spock’s shoulders are pressed together, and Jim’s head is tilting towards Spock’s, to rest against his head or shoulder. Spock wouldn’t mind if Jim fell asleep against him, he doesn’t think. 

He doesn’t mind most of what Jim does. 

“You know,” Jim says after a long moment. “Tarsus had beautiful sunrises.”

“Indeed?” Spock asks, uncertain. Jim has been back from Tarsus IV for three point six years and has never spoken of it. 

“Yeah,” Jim says. “When I, um. After. When I was out in the woods, hiding with the kids...I would take the early shift to watch, so I could see the sunsets. They reminded me of ice cream, but I think most things reminded me of food.”

“I see,” Spock says. 

“Yeah,” Jim says again, and his head drops to Spock’s shoulder, and his hand brushes against Spock’s. Spock considers telling him what that means. He does not. 

\-----

The first time Jim meets the Graysons, he is six years old, and it is his birthday.

After the ceremony--not the birthday one, but the one about his dad--at the Riverside shipyard, his mom stands in a corner with one hand on Jimmy’s shoulder and one hand on Sam’s, and people come up to them and offer condolences. 

At the end of the line is a beautiful woman, and she has three kids, two Vulcans and a human. Jimmy’s only seen a Vulcan once, and that had been an adult one at his dad ceremony _last_ year. These ones are kids, and the younger one is around Jimmy’s age!

“My condolences,” the mother says to Jimmy’s mom. 

“S'ti th'laktra _,”_ the older Vulcan child offers. The younger one is staring at Jimmy, but it’s alright because Jim is staring right back. But then the human girl gets in the way and bends down towards Jimmy, which is weird cause nobody ever speaks to him at these things.

“Happy birthday,” she says, and Jimmy blinks at her, then smiles. She smiles back, then stands up. 

“If you ever need anything, Winona,” the mother is saying to Jimmy’s mother. 

“Thank you for offering, Amanda,” Jimmy’s mother says. “Maybe we should do dinner, sometime.”

“I babysit, if you need any help that way,” the human girl says, and Jimmy’s mom smiles at her, and then turns back to Amanda. 

“I was so sorry to hear about your loss,” she says. “Sarek was a great man.”

“He was,” Amanda says. “But hey….at least we have each other.”

Amanda and Jimmy’s mom smile at each other, and Jimmy redirects his attention to the little Vulcan boy. He’s looking at the floor. 

Jimmy does too, in case something interesting is down there, but no luck. Soon, his mom takes him and Sam away to get Jimmy’s birthday brunch, and Jimmy keeps thinking of that little Vulcan boy and his creepy stare. 

\------

Jim is in the transporter room when it happens. He had beamed down with Spock to help evacuate, and he had known it was coming, he guesses, but it’s still a shock. There’s a sharp, all-encompassing pain in his head, and then Spock stumbles towards him, his hands to his temples. The other Vulcans, the ones they’d managed to evacuate, are crying out, clutching their temples, falling to the floor. Spock falls into Jim’s arms, and the pain is bad for Jim, and he knows it must be worse for Spock, and even worse for these Vulcans who had so many bonds. 

Jim is _illogically_ glad that Amanda doesn’t go to Vulcan anymore, that Michael left the VSA, that you couldn’t pay Sybok to go to Vulcan. All Vulcans Jim knows are okay. All the ones Spock loves are okay. 

But...an entire planet, gone. 

Jim holds Spock tighter, until Spock mumbles into Jim’s neck, “I am emotionally compromised. Regulation 619. You are the captain, now, Captain.”

\------

“Spock?” Jim asks. He’s laying on his stomach in the grass, pouring over Vulcan poetry. Spock looks over the top of his Shakespeare. 

“Yes?” he says.

“What’s this mean?” Jim says, underlining the word. “T’hy’la _?”_ Spock’s eyes and bowl cut are all Jim can see of him, from behind the massive book, and his eyes stay closed for a minute before he speaks. 

“It translates to friend,” he says eventually. “Or brother. Or lover. Or all three meanings at once. It is...it is a bond, but deeper and rarer than a betrothal bond typical of someone our age would have, or a marriage bond like my parents. It is similar to the human concept of a soulmate.”

“I see,” Jim says, biting his lip and looking back down at the poetry. “Sounds kind of, I don’t know, romantic.”

“Yes, I suppose so,” Spock says, and then he raises his book again, clearly trying to change the subject. Or maybe whichever play he’s on--Jim thinks it might be _Hamlet--_ is particularly interesting, but Jim doubts it. 

He looks down at the poem in his book, wondering if this translation is supposed to mean friend or brother or lover or the other option, the soulmate friend/brother/lover. 

Sybok, Jim knows, is betrothed to some girl back on Vulcan, but Spock isn’t, because Spock’s family moved to Earth before he could get betrothed. Because of a highly entertaining dinner sometime last winter when Michael had been home from Starfleet, Jim knows _why_ Vulcans get betrothed and need to have someone to call for a marriage. Jim supposes that on Earth, Spock would have more options, and then something about thinking of Spock getting married makes Jim’s stomach twist. 

Jim pushes the thought aside, and turns back to his poetry. 

Ten minutes and one deciphered poem later, though, he has another question for Spock. 

“Are Vulcans usually gay? This poem is gay.”

“Copulation is necessary,” Spock says. “But especially in Pre-Surakian times, there were many gay Vulcans. There are still quite a few today, I believe. I assume the ratio is similar to the human one.”

“Huh,” Jim says. 

“For example,” Spock says, his voice coming out fast. “I believe I am gay.”

“Oh!” Jim says, looking at his friend sideways. He’s still half-hiding behind the book, but Jim can see that his face is all green, just like it was when they had that _pon farr_ conversation. Jim clears his throat. “Me too. I mean, not totally. I mean, girls are awesome. But, um. Both. Bisexual.”

“I see,” Spock says, and he lowers his book a little. His cheeks are less green, and Jim suspects his own face is bright red. 

“Yeah,” Jim says, and then to change the subject away from the pair of them, “Some historians think Shakespeare was bi, too? I think he wrote some sonnets aimed at some dudes, or something?”

“Fascinating,” Spock says, looking at the book at his lap with a newfound light in his eyes. Jim sighs in relief and flips the page in his own book, ready to tackle the next poem. 

\------

Jim and Bones are standing before Spock, who’s on a biobed and looking rather flushed. He’s also shaking, a little. 

“So,” Bones says. “He’s only _sort of_ dying.”

“What does that mean?” Jim demands. Spock, who looks like he might explode, says nothing.

“He’s hit the _time of mating,”_ Bones says, somehow making it sound both serious and ridiculous at the same time. “Which means if he doesn’t get a good fuck, he’ll die. But, um.” And here he fumbles, and looks to Jim, who squares his shoulders. 

“Right,” Jim says. Spock closes his eyes, and exhales. 

“Jim,” he says. “Parted from me and never parted. Never and always touching and touched. We meet at the appointed place.”

“Spock, parted from me and never parted, never and always touching and touched, I await you,” Jim says, and Spock reaches out a shaky hand, two fingers parted, but then withdraws, stands up, and leaves. 

“Well,” Bones says, after he and Jim watch Spock leave. “I’ll just, uh, put y’all on medical leave.”

“Great, thanks,” Jim says. “Do you think the ‘appointed place’ is his quarters? It’s gotta be, right?”

“I cannot emphasize,” Bones says. “How much I really, very much, do _not_ want to know.”

\------

Somehow, Winona reflects, as she watches the boys tromp down her front yard, arms thrown over each other, she’d thought that maybe Spock would be a good influence on her kid, and they would be little bookworms together.

But no.

“I’m sorry my son is such a bad influence,” she says, watching Jim stumble and Spock sort-of catch him. 

“I really don’t know what goes on in that boy’s head,” Amanda says. She’s pinching the bridge of her nose. “And I _don’t_ mean Jim’s.”

“What, you mean all Vulcan friendships don’t end up in fistfights every month?” Winona says, wondering what the boys at school called them now. Apparently half of the school hates their boys, and the other half are afraid of them. The half that hates them likes to call them names--and Winona knows for a fact that Jim doesn’t mind people calling himself a name, but if a bad word is brought up about Sam, or George, or herself, or Spock, or Amanda, or Michael, or maybe even Sybok, then it’s all over. She wonders if when they both get into fights, if the other boys are insulting someone like Amanda, or if they insult Jim and Spock, and each boy fights for the honor of the other. 

“No,” Amanda says, lowering her hand. She comes over to Winona’s shoulder, to watch the boys--teenagers, now--stop right before the porch steps. Spock offers a handkerchief to Jim, holds it up to his bleeding lip. 

“Last time,” Winona says. “Last time, the other boys implied something about their relationship.”

“I know,” Amanda says. 

“Do you think,” Winona says. “That the other boys were right?”

“No,” Amanda says, and then she puts her hand on Winona’s shoulder. “But I bet they wish it was. Come on.” 

She takes her hand away and goes to open the front door, and Winona moves to follow her. 

\-----

After Jim becomes the official Captain of the _Enterprise,_ he and his new senior officers go to Riverside to take a shuttle up to the ship, so they can get acquainted before they let the rest of the crew up. 

Jim appoints Spock, because _duh,_ and Bones, again, _duh,_ and then Uhura because she’s great, and Sulu because Jim likes him, and Chekov because the kid’s a genius and Jim knows a little something about genius kids, and Scotty, who was on Delta Vega until he miraculously brought Admiral Archer’s dog back and helped save another Vulcan. Jim went to meet him out of curiosity and quickly discovered that Scotty was nuts in the best way. As soon as Scotty mentioned the _Enterprise’s_ “ample nacelles”, Jim knew he wanted him on his ship. 

And so there they are, in Riverside. 

They hit up a restaurant near where Jim first met Uhura for lunch, and then head back to the shipyard to take a shuttle.

“Is your mom in town? Do we need to go say hi?” Jim asks Spock when they’re heading back. 

“Negative,” Spock says. “She is volunteering with the Vulcan Relief Efforts, and is off-planet. Furthermore, I say ‘hi’ to her whenever we message, which is often.” 

Jim grins at him, and from behind him Sulu says, loudly and disbelievingly, “Wait, Commander, your mom lives here?”

“Yes,” Spock says. “She has resided here for the last nineteen point seven years, ever since Sarek perished in a shuttle accident.”

“Oh, Spock, I thought you grew up in Vulcan!” Uhura cries. 

“No,” Spock says. “I grew up here.”

From next to Jim, Bones gets a massive, shit-eating grin that Jim thinks should be illegal. 

“Oh, but we all knew _Jim_ grew up here,” he says. “So does that mean you two knew each other? As kids?”

“Yes,” Jim says. “And before you ask, there’s only one school in this shithole, so _yes,_ we went to school together.”

“Oho!” Scotty says. Chekov has some sort of sparkly look in his eyes, and Jim wishes he’d never told Bones anything about his personal life. 

“I would like to see a yearbook, please,” Sulu says, and Uhura nods. 

“I do not understand what purpose that would serve,” Spock says. Jim thinks of the pictures of chess club from his junior year and cringes. 

“The purpose is embarrassment,” Bones says, sounding delighted. 

“Were you two friends in high school?” Chekov asks. Jim considers saying, “ _You’re_ a high schooler, calm down,” but he doesn’t.

“Yes,” he says. “We knew each other.”

“Captain,” Spock says. “You were at my house seventy three point eight percent of the time.”

“I know,” Jim says, clapping his hand on Spock’s shoulder. 

“Seventy three point eight?” Bones mouths, elated, and Jim points at him. 

“I can fire you,” he says. 

“Naw, you can’t,” Bones says, and Jim can’t really argue with that.

\------

The rooftop of Jim’s house is pretty flat, and Jim’s bedroom window is very conveniently placed if you want to get up there. 

He’s been up there before, but never with Spock. They’re laying next to each other, shoulder-to-shoulder. It’s the dead of night, and the stars glitter above them. 

“Where’s Vulcan?” Jim asks, even though he knows, and he watches Spock’s arm extend above them, point up at the stars. “And you’re gonna...go back there? Join the VSA?”

“Yes,” Spock says. “That is my plan.”

“Okay,” Jim says. “And I’m going to get my own ship, and sail it across the stars. Earth will suck without you and Tarsus sucked big time so space has gotta be it. Return to my roots.”

“You would be a good captain,” Spock says. 

“I’d be an awesome captain,” Jim says. “If you didn’t join the VSA, you could come with me.” He hates how hopeful his voice sounds, how needy he feels. He’d be lost without Spock. He’d be missing half of himself without Spock. 

“I would like to come with you,” Spock says. “But I want to be among my own people, too.”

“Yeah,” Jim says, and he loves Spock way too much to keep him tied to his side. “I know.”

For a minute, they lay in silence, just looking at the stars, and then Spock nudges Jim’s hand with his own, fingers touching fingers, lacing together, holding tight. 

Jim knows what this means. He didn’t used to, but he does now, and his breath catches in his throat, and he turns on his side without untangling their hands. 

“Spock,” he says. 

“We will be together,” Spock says, something fierce in his eyes. “Even if I am in the VSA, and you are on a ship in space. We will still be together.”

“Yeah,” Jim says. He’ll become a pilot for the VSA, or something. He’ll do anything, if he can keep holding Spock’s hand. 

“Yeah,” Spock echoes, and Jim leans down towards him, and their lips meet. 

Jim is only seventeen years old, and now he’s ruined of kissing anyone else forever, because he loves Spock so much, and he feels like he’s going to explode with it, and their hands are locked together and their lips are touching, pressed together. Spock’s other hand find’s Jim’s hair, and pulls him ever closer, and Jim thinks he might melt.

“Do you remember what I said about t’hy’la ?” Spock breathes when they part for air, and Jim smiles at him. Their noses are touching. 

“Yes,” Jim says, and then Spock pulls Jim down again. 

\------

After they make it to the Babel Conference, with no trouble except a small matter when the Vulcan ambassador Selek put up a huge fuss about one of the Andorians on board, which turned out to be a good thing because the man was secretly Orion and planning something suspicious, the _Enterprise_ crew is supposed to stay on in case anyone needs ferrying back. 

There’s another Starfleet ship, the one that the human diplomats voting on Coridan arrived on, so there’s two ships worth of Starfleet officers moving around the conference. 

Nyota spots McCoy and Scotty across the way, looking sour, and Chekov is dancing with an ensign from the other ship. Diplomats love parties, and now that the voting is over--Coridan is accepted--the party is in full swing. 

Nyota cannot help but eye the other Vulcan ambassador, who’s younger than the first one, and impossibly beautiful. T’Pring, her name was, and Nyota wonders if she can ask her to dance. 

Currently, T'Pring and Selek are talking conspiratorially, and Nyota thinks they might be gossipping. If asked, Spock would say that Vulcans don’t gossip, but Nyota is pretty sure it’s obvious what’s happening. 

The chief engineer from the other ship walks past Nyota, carrying three drinks. She shifts her gaze curiously to the older woman, who stops before Nyota’s captain and first officer. 

“Cheers,” the engineer says.

“Thanks, Mom,” Jim says, taking a drink, and Nyota blinks, looks over the woman again. She does resemble Jim a bit. 

“Thank you, Commander,” Spock says, and he takes his own drink from her. Once her hands are free, Commander Kirk takes a swig of her own drink. 

“Anything for my boys,” she says. “Now tell me what you’ve been getting up to. You taking care of each other?”

“Course we are, Mom, come on,” Jim says. 

“It would be difficult not to, with the trouble the captain gets in to,” Spock intones. “ _Someone_ must keep an eye on him.”

“That’s what I have Bones for,” Jim says, and then laughs at Spock’s glare. “And you, of course.”

“Well,” the commander says. “I’m glad you two are together.”

“It would be illogical to separate us,” Spock says. 

“Being married does have it’s perks,” Jim says, elbowing Spock, and Jim’s mother says, “Right, of course.”

Nyota turns away from the little group, eyes wide. Married? Jim and Spock?

Anyone with eyes can see that they love each other, but nobody thought they were _already_ together! She looks around the room and her gaze meets McCoy’s; he lights up with a devilish smirk and she tries to remember what he placed in the betting pools. Wasn’t he the one who came up with “they’ve been secretly dating since high school”?

She drains the rest of her own drink and decides to make her way over there to find out what, exactly, is going on here, and what, exactly, he knows. 

And after that, she resolves. After that, she will find the New Vulcan ambassador, and ask her to dance. 

\------

The first time Spock sees Jim when he returns to Earth, Ms. Kirk has invited his family over for dinner. 

Michael is in town, and when the door opens to admit them all inside the Kirk house, Michael is hugging Jim before Spock can even process her movement. Spock knows that Michael was on the ship that rescued the children from Tarsus IV. Wouldn’t Michael and Jim have hugged then? Why do they need to hug now?

“Glad to see you’re alright, squirt,” Sybok says, stepping past the hugging people on the floor. He walks right up to Sam, who Spock has not seen in a long, long time. Sybok and Sam begin to whisper with each other, and Spock doesn’t even bother to try and eavesdrop. 

Michael lets Jim go, and Spock looks him over. He’s skinny and has a look in his eyes that wasn’t there before. He looks angry, but not at Michael, Spock thinks. 

“Hello,” he says, and then tells himself that that’s a poor way to greet someone who’s just been through a trauma. 

“Hey,” Jim says, sounding glum. “My mom made lasagna.” 

“My mother brought pudding,” Spock says. For a moment, they stare at each other, and then Michael puts her hand on Spock’s shoulder, even though he’s not a child anymore. 

“Come on,” she says. “Let’s go see if Winona needs our help setting the table.”

They go to the kitchen and help. Spock tries to think of something else to say and cannot. He wonders when Jim will rejoin school, if he will be behind a grade or if he will skip another one. He wonders what happened on Tarsus IV, because the only things he’s heard is the announcement of a failed colony, of a murderous governor, and that Michael was there, and Jim was there. 

There is a moment, when he and Jim are gathering forks to bring out to the table, when they are alone in the kitchen.

“It’s okay that you don’t know what to say,” Jim says. “I don’t know what to say, either.”

“Perhaps we can talk about something else,” Spock says, and Jim says, “That’s a good idea. Do you play chess?”

“Yes,” Spock says. “I am in the chess club at school.”

“Oh, the high school has a chess club? Neat.”

“Indeed,” Spock says. 

“Maybe I’ll join,” Jim says. “When I go back to school. Then I’ll kick your ass.”

“Please refrain,” Spock says, and Jim says, “I _know_ you know what that means.”

“I do not think your middling human strength would wound me very much if you kicked my posterior, but still, it would hurt one of us,” Spock says, and Jim laughs, and laughs, and Spock smiles to himself, and takes the silverware out to the table. 

\------

Jim is basically overjoyed to find that he and Bones are roommates, and he drops his bags in their dorm, doing a quick inspection of the place, before he tells his new friend that he’s going to explore the city a bit, and bails before the doctor can ask to join him. 

Starfleet Academy is big, but Jim concentrates on that feeling in the back of his head and walks towards it. He crosses campus and leaves it, finds an apartment building. He goes up three flights of stairs and down the hall, knowing when he finds the right door. 

Bonds are pretty cool, he thinks delightedly, and before he knocks the door opens before him. 

“Jim,” Spock says. 

“Hi,” Jim says, and Spock grabs him, pulls him into the apartment, wraps his arms around him. Jim shoves his nose into the place where Spock’s shoulder and neck meet and inhales him, squeezing him tighter. 

“Surprise,” Jim says, voice muffled. “I’m joining Starfleet.”

“You are?” Spock says, pulling away to meet his eyes. 

“Yeah,” Jim says. “I am.”

Spock’s gaze softens, and he touches Jim’s split lip.

“You have been fighting again,” he says.

“You weren’t there to keep me out of trouble,” Jim says. 

“Of course,” Spock says, brushing his thumb against Jim’s mouth. Jim considers the couch behind them and wonders about making out on it, but then Spock says, “I am a professor, here, and you are a cadet. Nobody can know of our...relations.”

“I know,” Jim says, because on the shuttle ride over he’d thought about that extensively. 

“If we are seen together your intelligence will be seen as favoritism,” Spock says. 

“I know,” Jim says again. “But we’ll always have weekends.”

“Indeed,” Spock says. 

“And,” Jim says. “I’ll be through this place faster than you can say ‘I din-tor du’ .”

“I have no doubt,” Spock says. 

“And then I’ll be captain,” Jim says. “And you can be my first officer.”

“I would like nothing more,” Spock says, and Jim feels his honesty, and his love, and he brings his hands up around Spock’s neck and pulls him down.

\------

They’ve been assigned to aid New Vulcan.

They beam down with a large landing party, and a pair of delegates or politicians are waiting to meet them. Jim and Spock step forward, raising the _ta’al_ nearly in unison. 

“I am Sevek, and this is Vonn,” the first man intones. 

“I am Captain Kirk,” Jim says, and then he holds out two fingers. “My first officer and he-who-is-my-husband, Spock.”

Spock meets his touch. From behind, Jim hears several gasps from their crew members. Chekov is in the landing party, so Jim is sure the entire _Enterprise_ will know by the end of the day. 

“We welcome you,” Sevek says. “Come, we will show you to your lodging.” Sevek and Vonn seem to glide away, and Jim gestures at the crew to follow. 

“How long have you been married?” Chekov hisses, running up beside them. 

“We have been officially married in the eyes of Vulcan law for three point four years,” Spock says. “Although we have been bonded for ten point six years.”

Chekov does the math quickly. 

“Doctor McCoy was right!” he cries, and Jim says, “Word of advice, kid, Bones knows everything. Also, he definitely cheated.”

“We all owe him so many credits,” Chekov moans, and Spock and Jim exchange an amused glance, and Jim says, “Yeah, and he owes _us_ a couple of drinks. Come on, we should probably pay attention to the Vulcans.”

Chekov falls back to rejoin the rest of the landing party, and Jim touches Spock’s fingers one more time, just for fun.

\------

Jim doesn’t really want to let go.

“Jim,” Spock says, sounding amused and exasperated. “You cannot hold me forever.”

“I can try,” Jim mumbles into Spock’s shirt. “Do you really have to go?”

“Yes, ashayam,” Spock says. And Jim steps back from him without releasing his hold on Spock’s shirt. Spock reaches out to wipe his eyes. 

“As soon as I am accepted into the VSA, we can figure out a way for us to be together,” Spock promises. 

“Good,” Jim says. “You’d better call me every day.”

“I will,” Spock says. He looks like he wants to say something else. 

“Spock?” Jim prods.

“Jim,” Spock says, talking fast. “You know that Vulcans usually engage in a betrothal bond, and that I did not due to moving to Terra. Well, I just--I wanted to ask if you would bond with me. Just an engagement bond, until pon farr when it becomes permanent, and if you do not want to then I will just…”

Jim has never seen Spock so nervous, and it’s entirely adorable, so he gets up on his toes and shuts him up with a kiss. 

“Yes,” Jim says when he pulls back. “Taluhk nash-veh k’dular.”

“I love you too,” Spock says, and his voice cracks in the middle of that but Jim _loves_ Spock, so he doesn’t say anything. 

“How do we do an engagement bond?” Jim asks. 

“A mind-meld,” Spock says, and he lifts his hand to Jim’s face. They melded once before, when they were fifteen and sixteen, and now they are seventeen and eighteen, and Spock is going to leave, and his mind slides into Jim’s so easily. 

Jim knows because Spock knows that they are insanely compatible, that mind melds aren’t normally like this, that usually a healer is needed to make a bond.

Our minds want to bond, Spock explains, and Jim thinks that his mind is a liquid and Spock’s is a liquid and they mix together when you pour them in the same cup. 

It’s because we’re soulmates, Jim thinks gleefully. 

Yes, Spock says. Parted from me and never parted. Never and always touching and touched.

I think, Jim thinks. I think that the first time I saw you, I knew what would happen. We’re inevitable. 

At six years old? Spock asks. 

Yes, Jim thinks. Yes, always.

Yes, Spock thinks. I quite agree.

\------

“Captain on the bridge!” Chekov calls, and Jim makes his way down to his chair. He sits down, and Spock thinks that he looks like he was made to be in that chair. He comes up next to Jim, and Doctor McCoy comes up on the other side. 

We did it, Jim thinks, smiling at Spock. 

We did, Spock responds, letting his mouth twitch up, ever-so-slightly, and Jim grins, turns back to the viewscreen. 

“Sulu, take us out,” he says, and the _Enterprise_ goes into warp, and to the unknown. 

And Spock and Jim are together.

While nobody is looking, Spock smiles for real.   
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> VULCAN TRANSLATIONS, IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE:  
> Hiyet = enough  
> Du stariben vuhlkansu = You speak Vulcan?  
> Ha = Yes  
> Dif-tor heh smusma = Live long and prosper  
> Kaiidth = what is, is  
> S'ti th'laktra = I grieve with thee  
> I din-tor du = I miss you  
> ashayam = beloved  
> Taluhk nash-veh k’dular = I cherish you/I love you
> 
> CHRONOLOGICAL TIMELINE OF EVENTS IN THIS FIC:  
> -spock and jim meet  
> -Jim drives the car off the cliff  
> -jim comes back from Tarsus IV  
> -Jim goes to Spock’s house and asks to hang out  
> -Spock begins to teach Jim Vulcan  
> -Spock patches Jim up after a fight & they break into the school  
> -Jim & Spock talk about t’hy’la & spock comes out to Jim  
> -Jim tells Spock about Tarsus  
> -Winona and amanda watch jim & spock walk home after they've gotten into a fight  
> -Jim & Spock stargaze and kiss  
> -Spock leaves to go to Vulcan to join the VSA; he makes an engagement bond between the pair of them  
> -Jim joins Starfleet and goes to find Spock at his apartment and they decide to stay away from each other to keep away suspicions of bias  
> -Jim tells Uhura that Spock is probably bonded to someone already, most Vulcans are  
> -spock & bones meet at jim & bones’s apartment  
> -Spock discovers that someone beat the KM  
> -Jim & Bones discover that Jim was put on academic probation  
> -Jim Bones Uhura & Gaila are hanging out when they’re called to the hangar to answer the distress call on Vulcan  
> -vulcan is destroyed  
> -uhura and bones and scotty and sulu and chekov learn that spock grew up in riverside, not on vulcan  
> -the enterprise is sent out  
> -pon farr  
> -babel conference; t’pring and spock prime (selek) are the ambassadors and winona’s ship is at the actual conference. uhura overhears jim say he's married to spock  
> -new vulcan delegation thing where jim introduces spock as his first officer and husband; crew overhears and the news is OUT on the enterprise 
> 
> \----
> 
> um in my head the events of star trek 2009 were kinda like - so spock gave over command of the enterprise and then the same narada stuff happened but jim n spock had no idea what they were working with except it all worked out, obvs, because of spock prime's ship and whatnot. spock prime helped scotty recover admiral archer's dog which got scotty off of delta vega along with their fabricated tale of scotty rescuing spock prime from a shuttle crash. then spock prime tracked down jim and spock to explain the timeline thing and the cause of george's death. spock prime then went to go help the vulcan colony amen. so jim & spock totally know who spock prime is
> 
> also since sarek is dead already, i needed new ambassadors for the babel scene and obviously spock prime came to mind but then i was like "holy shit what i t'pring is also an ambassador" and tbh the idea of t'pring and spock prime being besties (since in this universe t'pring and spock never knew each other beyond perhaps as children and also were never engaged) was the funniest thing ever so. here u go with my vulcan ambassador power duo.
> 
> hope you guys enjoyed!!!! thanks for reading!!! comments & kudos always enjoyed!!! llap!!!


End file.
